5 Jun

We’ve reached an era in our personal communication when, rather than shout from upstairs, we receive a text-message from upstairs.


It comes in handy to text when one doesn’t wish to talk. When one would rather type than talk, it saves one’s voice for the more important occasions of face-to-face meetings. Perhaps the words we used to speak face-to-face are numbered. We can only give them away sparingly unless we speak to someone face-to-face on nights and weekends.


I keep getting this text from mother in the other room. For mother, this is not an obscene exclamation of puzzlement but a simple request I’ve yet to fulfill for I’ve been to busy FML-ing.

On my third reception of WTF, I sigh and finish up with Feeding My Lizard so I can Water The Flowers for mother. FML! I Fill My Lungs with the breath necessary to speak a text onto my smart phone so that someone will read it and reply back at their convenience.

In pre-historical days, when man didn’t have all the words we have today, there would come a point where he would have to stop talking. He would run out of credit. Prehistoric man paved the way for us today, sitting around the fire, naming new things—developing better speaking-plans that were more cost effective.

But the languages were divided and the Tower of Babel sat there unfinished while the French people, the Swedish people, the American people and the Englishmen people sat around scratching their heads, having no clue what the other was saying.

But a Pentecost took place. There was a time when nights and weekends seemed like a good deal. Now, unlimited speaking is the normal privilege of language.

Since we’re all allowed to talk now as much as we want, we just have to make sure to get the shortened language correct.

In order to let someone know that I found something they wrote on the internet or over text funny, I give them an IJLAT: I Just Laughed At That.

To me, that is preferable to LOL, after a relative informed me that, ‘Aunt Sue has passed away, LOL.’ (Lots Of Love).

Or when I asked a friend how she made it through her summer backpacking trip through Europe if she had little money for food and she replied, simply, ‘LOL.’ (Lived On Lollipops).

Less problematic but equally troubling was when, over email, I asked a brother’s math teacher what I should do to go about helping him and he responded with ‘LMFAO alone.’ (Let Mike Figure Arithmetic Out alone).

It is not so troubling to help those in need. I will continue to give LOL to those sitting sick in the upstairs when they can’t carry out tasks themselves.

When I went outside, the garden was covered with weeds. What does one do? Pull them the best one can. WTF, right?


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